Happy Birthday, Miss A!

I'm a little behind in getting this written, but I still wanted to do it, so better late than never, right?  A couple weeks ago, on Nov. 9, we celebrated Miss A's 6th birthday.  Hard to believe it's already been six years since she made us parents, but at the same time, it seems like she's always been here and I can barely even remember what life was like without her.

Our little family the day after Miss A was born

K and I have been doing a lot of reflecting and evaluating lately on this whole parenting thing.  We've been making some changes around here in the way we're trying to parent and teach our kids.  We're trying to be more purposeful and take better advantage of small moments to teach.  At the same time, we're really working on trying to teach our kids to be more responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their actions- whether they be positive or negative.  I know this is something that most all parents are constantly working on, but it's been a big topic of conversation between the two of us lately.  And it's it's been on my mind a lot.  In talking and thinking about these things, we've also been spending a lot of time talking about each of our kids individually- their strengths and weaknesses, the individual needs that we see in each of them.

Miss A is our oldest and she shows a lot of qualities of a first born child.  She is independent and strong willed and has been from Day 1!  Even as a tiny toddler, she was incredibly independent and learned to do things for herself at a young age, just because she wanted to.  As time has passed and I have developmental milestones of other children to compare her to, I realize even more how independent she was!

Miss A at 12 months

Over the years, she has learned how to make sure she gets what she wants or needs, but she is also learning to look out for her brother and sister.  Being the oldest is tough because the expectations are high- be an example to the younger ones, share, give what you have to someone else, and on and on.... It's not always easy, but she's developing the ability to think of others and trying to work on putting others' needs before her own.

She is a good friend to everyone.  I have never heard or seen her be unwilling to share any of her things with anyone we have over at our house, or anywhere else.  Although she can be shy around adults, she loves to spend time with other kids and is always wanting to invite someone over to play.  This has been a challenge for her since we moved to Lux.  In Illinois, we had lots of friends with kids her age and many of them lived very close.  She almost always had someone to play with.  That's not really the case here.  Even at Church, there are very few kids her age.  She's in a Primary class with a bunch of boys that are a year or two younger than her, and I still have never heard her complain about it.

3 1/2 years old

At school, she is the only kid in her class that speaks English.  I can't imagine doing what she does every day.  Every day I send her to a classroom where no one, other than her wonderful teacher, speaks her language.  She is expected to learn and make friends with a whole classroom of kids that she can't even talk to.  Although  her teacher is fabulous, her focus is on teaching Miss A the language, so even she speaks very minimal English to her.  I think if I had to do that every day I would feel so overwhelmed and just not want to go.  We talked to other families about their experiences with their children in the school system here.  The other American families told us to expect it to be hard on her for six months.  They all told us that their children cried almost every day for six months and then suddenly, it was okay.  We anticipated that Miss A would have a really hard time with school past Christmas, at least.  She has absolutely amazed us!  Her attitude is incredible!  She started school in mid-September.  The first week was fine, the second week she cried almost every day and I started to get really worried.  By the third week, she was fine again and she's never looked back.  She tells me about her new friends, points them out to me on the playground, and tells me what languages they know how to speak.  And then she tells me that you don't really have to speak the same language as somebody to be friends with them.  What an example this child is to me!  She has been so strong during this whole experience!

This morning as I was walking the kids to school, I was telling them that today is Thanksgiving in the United States.  I asked if they remembered Thanksgiving last year and what we did to celebrate it.  Miss A remembered it all, of course.  We'll be having our Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday- the rest of our weekend is pretty packed with Presidency and Bishopric meetings at Church, so we'll be doing it Sunday afternoon.  I'm looking forward to spending the time with new friends that we've made here.  Miss A got sad for a minute and said she wished we were celebrating Thanksgiving today.  I told her I understood and that I was feeling a little sad about it too.  Then she said she just wished it was Thanksgiving here so she could have a day off school.  We talked about what a good experience we're having and all the things we're learning for a minute and that was it.  We walked into school and she was fine.  I will linger on my sad feelings all day, but I'll be fine too.  I just love her resiliency and wish I could be a little more like her in that regard.

At six years old, I'm realizing that my little girl is not quite so little anymore.  She still likes to snuggle, but she's definitely our big kid.  I'm seeing so many grown up, big kid traits in her.  In the family I grew up in, we joked about "Mommy Books".  My mom's mommy book was Love You Forever by Robert Munsch.  Even when we were teenagers, my mom couldn't read that book without crying.  I thought it was really sweet at the time, but of course, I didn't really get it.  When Miss A was four days old, we had to take her back to hospital for bilirubin testing because of jaundice.  There was a big book fair set up in the lobby of the hospital.  With my four day old baby sitting in her car seat on the floor beside me, I picked up Just In Case You Ever Wonder by Max Lucado.  I started reading it, and I started bawling like a baby.  I figured I was just hormonal, but I also knew I'd found my "Mommy Book".  Over time, as the hormones have faded (and raged), I still have yet to read this book without crying.  And now, I get it.  My kids mean everything to me.  And there's so much I want them to know.  It's a constant struggle, and I feel like I fail miserably some days, but we're all in it together and we're trying every day.  Mostly, Miss A, I just want you to know that you're a pretty special kid.  We're so grateful that you're in our family.  "If you're feeling sad...come to me 'cause I love you.  And I always will, just in case you ever wonder."